The beginning of the end? Eh...maybe.

Since Rowan was born, I have rocked him to sleep. For naps, for bedtime...he was always in my arms. And often, he was in my arms, screaming and arching and fighting me with all the will and strength he had in his little body. Bedtime was especially disastrous. We often would start the process before 9:00 and not have a sleeping baby until 11:00 or later. I figured he was just one of those kids who didn't like going to sleep.

Yesterday was a high energy day and when it came time for him to nap around 5:30, I just didn't have the energy to rock him. So I swaddled him, put him down in his crib, turned on the sound machine, and walked out. And you know what? He went to sleep on his own.
Color me shocked...I had never seen him fall asleep on his own before that. I told DH about the success and when it came time for the next nap, he suggested we try it again. And it worked again. When bedtime came, we did it all over again, and again it worked. (Although, at bedtime, he did take a long time to fall asleep...but without fighting, without screaming. He slept in his crib from 10:30 until midnight, and when he woke up I brought him into bed with me and nursed him back to sleep.

Honestly, a big part of me is really sad. What happened to little babies needing their mommies? What happened to getting the memories of sweetly rocking my ever-growing child every night? It was really odd going to bed last night without his little warm body snuggled up against me. And like the title of this post indicates, I feel like this is the beginning of the end of my cosleeping adventures with my sweet baby boy. He's suddenly rolling, trying to crawl (!?!?), and putting himself to sleep. (Actually, he's asleep right now, and that's why I finally have time to write.) I'm oddly proud, but also feeling wistful for his newborn days when he'd curl up on my chest and zonk out without hesitation. And ok, part of me is kicking myself for not realizing sooner that I could just put him down to get him to sleep...do you know how many hours I've struggled with him in the evening, and both of us ended up in tears?!? Sheesh.

Maybe when he's a little bigger, he'll go back to wanting his Momma to snuggle him. Maybe this is just a phase tied to his new-found mobility. I dunno. Regardless, I'm still having a ton of fun being his mom and this is just another reminder to soak it all up and enjoy every minute because it is absolutely flying.

Things I'm Learning

-It's really hard to find time to blog when you have a newborn. Diligent mommy bloggers, I salute you. I don't know how you do it!

-Nursing is really challenging, and sometimes a little maddening. If I wasn't so dedicated to doing this for my son, I would give up and just give him formula. (Or let daddy give him formula.) There's something wonderful but simultaneously overwhelming about being his only source of nourishment...especially at 3:00 in the morning.

-A perpetually late person + a newborn = a perpetually super late person.

-Time during pregnancy goes at a crawl. Time with a newborn rushes by so fast that I think I'm getting a little whiplash.

-Instagram is an awesome tool for recording the first few days (and weeks and months) of your kid's life. (Feel free to follow me; my username is blindvictory, of course!) Also, a smartphone is a lifesaver during the wee morning hours when you're nursing (again) and you need something to keep you awake.

-I was apparently destined to be an attachment parent. I LOVE bed sharing. Still working on getting him to tolerate the pocket sling. I'm realizing that I get a little jealous when family visits and I have to let other people hold him for a few hours...makes me a little glad when he decides to cluster feed. ;)

-Being a mom is still totally awesome. I can't believe that my husband and I created such a perfect little boy. I thank God every day for the blessing of my sweet little family.

Also, a quick note. I'm thinking about changing my blog name from "Waiting for Arrows" to something else. I haven't decided what yet. If I come up with anything good, I'll let everyone know! If you've got any suggestions or ideas, pitch 'em to me because I'm terribly uncreative. I also totally want a new blog design, but I am cheap and don't want to pay for a good one, and whenever I try to do the free ones, the coding gets messed up and half the blog reverts to the old style and half has the new layout. Lame.

Rowan's Very Long Birth Story

On Wednesday, September 12, I had Braxton Hicks. Nothing unusual for a pregnant lady who is 38w3d, right? Except they wouldn't go away. Every five minutes or so, I would have a painless BH contraction. I also noticed that I felt absolutely exhausted, despite having gotten a really good amount of sleep the night before. I was starting to suspect something was up with all those BH contractions, so I went for a walk to stall them out. They kept going. I took a nap...they did not. I called my midwife's office and my favorite nurse, Janette, told me to take a nice hot bath and relax. If they were nothing, they'd stall themselves out. If it was something, they'd keep going. So I took the bath, and they kept going. I was also having some mild spotting, which I assumed was from the cervical check I'd had the day before.

DH and I decided to head down to my mom's house (much closer to the hospital than ours) just in case something was going on. I tried to contact the on-call doctor at the hospital to ask their opinion. They finally called me back and told me that they didn't think I was in labor, but that I could come in and get checked if I wanted to. I did. At 10:30 at night, we got checked in at the ER and sent up to triage. They checked me and I was at a centimeter and a half, and 80% effaced. But, my blood pressure was crazy high. They decided to do a blood draw and a cath urine test (ow) for pre-eclampsia. While I was sitting in the bed waiting for the results of my test, I started having some actual contractions, and then I felt a gush. I paged the nurse and they checked, and sure enough, my water had broken! I was so surprised. It was about 2:30 when contractions started, and I guess around 3:00 when my water ruptured.

They sent us to a real L&D room, and we hunkered down for the long haul. Little did we know HOW long it was going to be! They told me to hang out, and they'd check me again in 4 hours. So I labored, breathed through the increasingly painful contractions, and rejoiced over the fact that my little boy would be in my arms in a few hours. (Or so I thought.) After four hours, they checked my cervix. I was up to 3cm and still 80% effaced. So I labored some more. I was getting SO uncomfortable and was really having a lot of pain with each contraction. DH and I walked the halls, and my mom showed up and walked with me too. I had to stop and lean against the walls when each contraction hit. After another 4 hours, they checked again, and I was at...3 cm, 80% effaced. I was SO discouraged that I hadn't made any progress. They moved me to a room with a seat in the shower so that I could sit in the hot water. They thought that the hot water hitting my chest would stimulate contractions to become more regular and productive. I spent an hour in the shower, and then got out, labored more, and waited. And at the next check? Still 3cm, 80% effaced. I broke down and cried.

At this point, they introduced the idea of Pitocin to try and get my contractions to regulate and become more productive. I was so devastated, but I agreed to try it because I had been without sleep and food for a very long time at this point. The Pitocin made the contractions hit me like a sledgehammer, and I began to REALLY struggle to get through each one. They gradually increased the Pitocin from .5 to 2, and when we got to 2, they offered me Stadol. I was in so much pain that I agreed to try it. The nurse told me that it'd just make me too loopy to care that I was in pain. What she SHOULD have told me was that I was going to go on the craziest psychedelic trip in the world. There were so many colors and images flying around in my head that I don't think I really got much rest under the Stadol, but man, was it fun. While under the Stadol, they increased my Pitocin from a 2 to an 8. When the Stadol wore off, I was suddenly in more pain than I even knew it was possible to experience. I was almost screaming through contractions...I truly felt like I was going to die with each one. After trying my best to labor through them, they checked me again and I had only progressed to 4cm after HOURS of Pitocin. I knew at that point that I couldn't do it without pain meds anymore.

I won't lie...I cried when I finally admitted that I needed the epidural. I wanted a natural birth SO badly, and had mentally and physically prepared myself for it from before I had ever even conceived Rowan. I felt like a failure and a disappointment to myself and to everyone who had encouraged me to go med-free. My sweet nurse Patrice looked in my eyes and told me, "Honey, getting the epidural will not make your birth any less beautiful, I promise you." Getting the epi itself was incredibly painful, especially because it wasn't placed properly the first time and they had to go back and move the catheter to adjust the flow of the meds. Once the numbing spread properly, I crashed. I was so incredibly exhausted. Two hours after the epidural, I woke up and they checked me again. I had gone from 4cm, 80% effaced to complete in TWO HOURS. Wow. It was time to push!

I couldn't feel my legs because of the epi, so I felt like half of my effort on pushes was expended holding my legs. They turned the epi off and let me labor down for a little bit, and once I had a tiny bit of sensation back, I started pushing. They told me that I was doing a great job, which was nice to hear because I couldn't feel much except for some pressure when contractions would start. Rowan's heart rate started decelerating a little with contractions, so the doctor delivering him told me that I needed to push with all my might. After what I think was about 20 minutes of pushing, I felt him crowning (weird sensation!) and a couple pushes later, he was out. They pulled him up on my belly and I burst into tears. He was so beautiful, and had hair!

Rowan Bennett was born at 3:45 a.m. on September 14th. He was 6lbs, 10oz and 19 inches long, and so beautiful. He has his daddy's eyes and nose, but has mommy's lips and fingers. We are so in love.

Rowan is here!

I'm really tired, what with having a newborn and all, but I promise I'll update with his birth story soon. It's a long one, and definitely did NOT go the way I had hoped, but he's here and healthy and that's all that matters.

We're currently dealing with a little jaundice, so T&Ps please that it clears up quickly!

Some stats, and a pic!

Rowan Bennett
September 14th, 2012
3:45 a.m.
6lbs, 10oz
19 inches long

Someone come kick me into gear today, please!

I'm just having one of those days where I don't feel like doing ANYTHING. Granted, it's only 10-something in the morning and I slept a little late, but still. There are plenty of things to do around here, and I just don't feel like doing any of them.

I promised DH that I would pack my hospital bag soon, so I should probably try to do that today. Especially since I'm "term" now and Little Guy could seriously come any day. My midwife is having me come back on Tuesday because my blood pressure was a little high yesterday. If it's still high, she'll check me and possibly do a membrane sweep. Just from her external checking, she said his head is extremely low and asked me if I feel like he has dropped yet. I'm short-waisted so honestly, I can't tell. All I know is that my hips hurt less after last night's sleep than they have in MONTHS. So that's exciting. (Oh, and the membrane sweep? She said that IF it works, he'll be here after 3 days, max. So that could have me holding my baby in my arms by next Friday. That possibility both terrifies and thrills me to no end.)

We had a great Labor Day weekend with DH's parents. Seriously, we are SO spoiled, and we know it and are so thankful for it. We ended up coming home with even more baby stuff, a dress for me to wear postpartum, a couple new ties for DH to wear to work, and we bought ourselves a blender with a food processor attachment with a gift card we had. I am SO excited about the blender! I've been wanting one for ages, to do smoothies with. Our first attempt with them the other night sucked, to be honest, but I've looked up some recipes and hopefully our next batch will be good. :) I want to try some green smoothies with stuff like kale or spinach and just not tell DH what's in them. A little veggies will be good for him!

My brain is officially ready for fall. (I know, I may have mentioned that before, right?) So I went to Hobby Lobby yesterday and bought myself the "ingredients" for a fall wreath for our front door! All of the little items were 40% off except for the actual wreath itself, so I showed them the online coupon and got 40% off of that, too. :) Savvy shopper in the hizzouse. I agonized over what kind of design I wanted, what colors to use, etc etc. Our front door is red so OBVIOUSLY I couldn't do red fall items because it'd blend in, and where's the fun in that? So I ended up with creamy/yellowish and orange, and I'm pretty happy with it. I'm looking forward to the day that I have a decorating budget that allows me to deck the halls for every season and holiday. Fall wreath this year, ceramic pumpkin centerpiece next year? I think yes.

Superwoman! Or maybe just nesting.

My house is looking GOOD these days. Still a little cluttered; still less cute and decorated than I'd like. But clean? Definitely a drastic improvement from how it's been the last few months.

I've made myself a daily to-do list to try and help keep me motivated to keep it up, because honestly, it's hard. I am not someone who enjoys cleaning by nature, so even though I like the results, it's SO much easier to just sit in the recliner and do nothing. But, knowing myself, if I slack off too much, I'll fall right back into my old habits of letting my house look like crap all the time. It feels good, though, ticking off the chores on my list.

I have to admit, I feel a little bit like Superwoman when I think about all the stuff I've gotten done today (and on previous days). It's coming up on 4:00 pm as I write this, and so far I have:
-Made the bed
-Swept the hall and kitchen
-Done the dishes
-Cleaned old food out of the fridge
-Taken out the trash
-Vacuumed the bedroom
-Painted a layer of topcoat on two long dresser drawers

Someone suggested that I'm nesting. I kind of hope they're wrong. I want to believe that I've turned over a new leaf, and if it's nesting, then what happens when Little Boy gets here? Am I going to go back to being a cruddy housewife? I'm afraid I'm setting my expectations for myself a little high right now, and that I'm going to be really disappointed in myself when the dishes aren't done every night before bed, and the kitchen needs mopping, and the laundry piles up, and the bed doesn't get made the entire day.

Also, can I just say to the women of Sept. 2012: STOP HAVING BABIES ALREADY. Do you guys know how impatient I'm getting when you keep posting pics of your beautiful new children and I'm still sitting here, massively pregnant and uncomfortable and WEEKS away from my due date? Ugh. Stop that. Maybe I should go put my shoes on and walk around my neighborhood to try and encourage this baby to engage a little. I'll be 37 weeks on Sunday, "to term", and he can come any time after Monday without me being the least bit upset.

...But what if I'm bad at this?

Part of me can't wrap my mind around the fact that this large, wiggly lump in my stomach is actually our child. That's a real person in there, a little life we struggled to create. We prayed for him, begged for him, took countless pee tests waiting for some news of his pending arrival, and yet...somehow, he still feels like a figment of my imagination sometimes. Like, there is NO WAY I'm going to go to the hospital and push out a real, live baby and that baby will be ours forever.

And then the part of me that accepts that he is, indeed, a real, live baby that will be ours forever can't believe that the idiots at the hospital will be dumb enough to actually let us take him. Are they insane? Do they realize that we have no idea what to do with a baby? DH has never changed a diaper in his life. I've never taken care of a baby for more than a few hours, myself, and I'm the "experienced" one.

I'm so scared of the change that this little guy is bringing into our lives. We're going to cease to be just Nikki and Nikki's DH. Suddenly, one day next month, we're going to become R---'s mom and dad. The closer I get to that day, the more I realize that I'm going to have to totally get to know this little stranger. How can he be a stranger when he's grown in my body for 9 months? How is it that he's going to come out of me, and yet I'll still have to learn everything about him? It just seems impossibly ridiculous that this is the way having a baby works.

I know all the hesitations and fears I'm having are totally normal. And honestly, I'd side-eye any first time mom who went into childbirth without trepidation. You'd have to be a crazy person to not be a little frightened by the prospect of a tiny life depending on you 24/7 for love, food, shelter, and comfort. But I still feel like I'm being "that" pregnant lady. The one who worries, "What if my kid doesn't like me?" He'll grow to like you. He's a baby. "What if I can't figure out what he needs?" You will. You'll learn to read his cries and his cues and if all else fails, call your doctor. "What if he grows up too fast?" He will. Just remember that through all the nights of sleeplessness, the thousand diapers a day, the anxiety and stress of newborn care. This too shall pass, and you'll wish you could have it back, so don't rush through a single minute of it.

I hope that somehow, this little guy knows how much I love him already. I promise, little dude, I will try SO hard to be the best mom I can be. Be patient with me. You're kind of a new experience.

Clearly, I have no willpower.

When fall comes around (or even just moderately cooler summer weather), I cannot resist the urge to bake. Anything with pumpkin in it makes me ridiculously happy. My Pumpkin Spice candle from Yankee Candle company has already clocked a good 8 hours of burn time in the last couple weeks just because it lets me feel like I'm baking something delicious, without the temptation to consume the calories.

So today, while DH sanded the primer on the dresser drawers for baby boy's room, I baked. I couldn't help myself. I know I'm up 30lbs this pregnancy. I know I need to be careful about my sugar intake. I know carbs aren't all that good for me. But sometimes, I just don't care. And baking is one of those times. I wanted to bake bread, but I wanted pumpkin...so I made Pumpkin Chocolate Chip bread. It smelled like autumnal heaven in my house while it baked, and was equally delicious once it came out of the loaf pans and was cool enough to eat.

I got the recipe here. I will definitely be making the bread again at some point, but I'll probably half the amount of nutmeg that the recipe calls for. It's good, but I haven't used much nutmeg before so the flavor for me is almost a little overwhelming.

I am really hoping that this coming weekend will be the end of our baby room preparations. The dresser and drawers are all primed and sanded...all we have left to do is paint the thing. We have a spray gun and are going to borrow an air compressor so hopefully, the painting will go by really quickly. I'm so impatient to just get it in the room and get all his teensy little clothing into it. We've got all his laundry done and folded and sorted by size, and now we're just...waiting. I still need to pack my hospital bag, but that feels a little too "real" and I just can't bring myself to do it.

35 weeks down...35 days to go. Here's my bump picture; I haven't posted one in a few weeks.

One happy momma!

This pregnancy has been full of fun little ups and downs, but I am so excited that it looks like things are going to be more "up" from here on out!

For the last three weeks, I've been going for weekly biophysical profiles for our little guy. (BPPs are ultrasounds that look at things like movement, breathing practice, etc.) He was measuring in the 8th percentile, and they were worried that he may be experiencing some form of growth restriction. They gave him until the 14th (yesterday) to get up to the 11th percentile, or else I'd be switched from my midwife to a high-risk OB and probably be induced between 37-39 weeks.

I was a little anxious going into the ultrasound, which I'm guessing isn't all that surprising. I could tell my belly felt a tiny bit bigger, but was it enough? Was he going to hit the 11th percentile? As someone who is desperately wanting as natural of a birth as possible, the idea of induction was terrifying to me. I had the best ultrasound tech named Monica, who really helped put me at ease. (My mom also got to go with me...her first time seeing Wee Laddie since he was about 7 weeks along! Quite the change since then, haha.) Monica took all the measurements, and reassured me that things like fluid levels and all that jazz looked good. Our final percentile? 15th!!!! We are now out of the "worry zone" and back up into normal numbers. Still small, but totally healthy. I am beyond thrilled!

The best part of the ultrasound was toward the end when we noticed his eyes moving a little. (Which, to be honest, looks a little weird!) We were all laughing at how funny it looked when I realized he seemed like he was responding a little more to my voice. So I started talking to him. His eyes immediately looked up towards my voice and he started blinking and really seemed like he was paying attention. Even the tech thought it was really cool! Little guy knows his momma already. :)

In other baby-related news, DH and I have my maternity photo shoot this weekend. My mom got me an awesome maxi dress from Old Navy that actually fits. I'm only about 5'1", so normally anything that's meant to be long is comically oversized on me, but this actually hits at the perfect length. I can't wait! DH and I have never had professional pictures done, so I'm looking forward to having some frame-worthy shots to put up in our house. Also on the agenda this weekend is painting baby boy's dresser so that we can finally get all his clothing and stuff put away in his room. I am so ready for that part...it feels like we're rapidly running out of time, and I want to just be DONE with the nursery.

Hope my slew of dedicated readers are all doing well. All five of you. ;)

Ugly dumplings and baby stuff.

I never really cooked or baked growing up, but once I got married and DH and I moved to France, I really started to love experimenting in the kitchen. (Not a big fan of the cleaning afterwards, but you take the bad with the good.)

Now, DH is not an adventurous eater. I normally tease him about being picky, but he really has expanded his tastes drastically since we got married three years ago. (I like to think my nagging had something to do with that.) He's still a meat and taters kind of guy, but he'll eat onions, some veggies (if they're cooked right), non soy-sauce based Asian food, and a handful of other stuff. Along with his willingness to try more foods comes the opportunity for me to COOK more foods. On tonight's menu? Brown rice and stir fried veggies, with homemade beef dumplings.

I do not make pretty dumplings. Don't judge me.

I honestly have no idea how these are going to turn out, and they may really be awful, but they at least look semi-nice, right? I made the peanut butter cookies on the bottom when DH got turned down for a promotion a couple weeks ago. I am firmly of the opinion that sadness deserves delicious dessert.

On another note, our crib should be here by the end of the week! So excited! It wasn't supposed to be back in stock until August 31st but ended up being restocked early. I'm ready to have our little guy's room done and ready for him. I'm feeling incredibly unprepared, especially with the knowledge that he could be here in as little as four weeks. (I think I just threw up a little when I typed that last sentence.)

Our next biophysical profile is tomorrow, and the growth scan is next Tuesday. DH is coming to the growth scan with me, for which I am very thankful. If we get bad news, I'm going to want him with me to keep me from bawling the rest of the day. We just need our little boy to have grown from the 8th percentile up to the 11th, and then we'll be home free. But if he's not up to where they want, I'll be labelled high-risk, have to go in twice a week for non-stress tests and BPPs, and I'll be induced somewhere between 37 and 39 weeks. Considering that I am all crunchy granola and wanted to go totally natural, that is way, way disappointing. But mostly, I just want our kiddo to be ok.

How are things in your world? Everyone good? Anyone reading this? I think I hear crickets chirping...

Five Happy Things

A lot of times in my life, I tend to dwell on the unpleasant parts. We found out today that DH got passed over for another job promotion (again), which means we'll be unable to move out of our little town and into a better home. It had put me in a terrible mood all day...until I cleaned my kitchen. Ahhh. It feels SO GOOD when my kitchen is clean. I even washed out the microwave (ew) and rearranged some things on the counter so that there's a little more space and it looks nicer. It kind of made me realize that for all my quirks and idiosyncrasies, I'm a pretty simple girl and it doesn't take a lot to make me happy. So here's my list of 5 small things that make me instantly feel better. Feel free to share yours!

♥ My home being clean cheers me up. When everything is in its place and I can find things quickly, it makes me happy.

♥ Cooking and baking. Since DH has had a bad day, I might make some peanut butter cookies. I don't have as much of a sweet tooth as DH, but I like cookies pretty much any time.

♥ Leaving little notes for my husband to find. I love his reaction when he comes across love notes from me, telling him how much I love him and appreciate how hard he works. I don't want him to ever not know how much I appreciate him.

♥ Feeling my little boy rolling around in my belly. It's absolutely incredible every single time I feel it. I think I'll really miss that part of pregnancy but it'll be worth it to have my gorgeous little boy on the outside.

♥ Talking to my mom. My gosh, I love my mom. There is no one who understands me like she does. I can't imagine my life without her! I would love to talk her into a mommy/daughter tattoo with me. I texted her today and asked her what she would picture as a symbol of our relationship. She said she'd have to think about that one. I think it'd be hardcore for my mom to get some ink. ;)

A less than stellar prenatal appointment

Tuesday, I went in for a routine prenatal appointment. They did all the standard stuff...talked about aches and pains, used the Doppler to listen to little guy's heartbeat, and measured my fundal height. That last part? That's where things started to kind of get frustrating.

My fundal height was 28cm as of June 26th. On July 10th, it was 28.5. As of yesterday, it was 28 again. My midwife went ahead and ordered a quick growth scan, because that's not normal for things to not be growing for that long. I was definitely surprised, but if I think about it, I honestly haven't been looking any bigger in my weekly pictures for a little while. So, off to the u/s department I went. They checked my cervix, which is still long and closed. They measured the amniotic fluid levels, which were totally normal, and they measured the baby. They estimated that he's about 3.5 pounds, and the tech told me I'd probably hear from the doctor within 24 hours.

Less than 2 hours later, my midwife called me to tell me the results of the scan. (Love her!) Wee Laddie is measuring in the 8th percentile, so they're a little concerned. That's awfully small, even for a baby being born to short parents. (He was in the 22nd percentile at the 20 week ultrasound.) My midwife discussed the u/s results with one of their MFM doctors, and they both agreed that it's borderline, but Wee Laddie falls into the "growth restricted" category. I'm going to be having weekly biophysical profiles for a little while, and in three weeks they'll redo the growth scan. If he can get up to the 11th percentile, then I'll go back to normal prenatal visits. If he's still measuring abnormally small or has dropped in percentiles, then I'll be going in twice a week for non-stress tests and ultrasounds until he's born. Oh, and they'll be inducing me somewhere between 37 and 39 weeks.

Obviously, the most important thing is that he gets here safe and healthy. I'll do whatever it takes to make that happen. But there is a huge, huge part of me that is horrified at the prospect of induction. This is not how I wanted things to go. I'm Little Miss Crunchy Granola...I was going to have a natural birth, get him here without drugs, without epidural. (Not judging anyone who has had a birth like that at all; it's just not what I wanted for myself.) Induction scares me because it increases the risk for a c-section, and I am terrified of that. I just want everything to be ok, with him and with me.

One good thing did come out of yesterday's drama...a beautiful 3D shot of my gorgeous little boy. Yep, this mama cried some happy tears when I saw his sweet face. I think he looks like his daddy (for now at least!).

Jane Austen and Star Wars baby shower weekend!

I had so much fun this weekend. SO much fun. Be warned, this post may get kind of photo-heavy.

We started out with the Jane Austen festival on Saturday. I managed to get my costume finished in time for the festival thanks to my awesome mom coming to the rescue when my sewing machine conked out. (And doing some of the sewing for me, because I'm a sewing noob and had a hard time with the arm holes.) I couldn't get together with DH's cousin so that she could do my hair, so I wore a bonnet and just pinned it all up underneath. We didn't stay at the festival very long because it was hot, but it was a lot of fun to dress up anyhow. (Note to other pregnant ladies: Gold Bond chafing stick is AWESOME if you're in a dress and your thighs rub together. Kid you not, it spared me so much discomfort.) Several of DH's cousins dressed up, too, and we were a cute little group, if I do say so myself.

Guess which one is me? ;)

That night, a bunch of DH's family got together and did a baby shower for me and Wee Laddie. It was Star Wars themed, and I was SO impressed at how cool it was! I didn't know a baby shower could be so much fun. They had a big sheet up on the wall that said "may the force be with you" and they had people write advice on a chalkboard and take pictures in front. Some of the pictures were really cute!

It seems like most of the pictures of me are either blinking or with my mouth open...super attractive, right? I got some seriously cool gifts, including a Kate Spade diaper bag and a Star Wars mobile that DH's uncle made. LOVE it. We also got some really, really adorable baby clothes from Janie & Jack, which is more along the boutique baby clothing line. I love anything with smocking on it, and we got some of the cutest overalls you've ever seen. We also got some teething toys, books, bath supplies, teensy shoes, and my MIL and FIL got us a great car seat/jogging stroller. I didn't even know I wanted a jogging stroller until I had one!

I'm really blessed to have married into such an enthusiastic, loving family. They're not without their issues (what family is?) but they're excited about our little boy and they've always treated me like I had been there all along. It's kind of wonderful. :)

I think I know why sewing is a dying art.

Because it's HARD. Seriously...I am so impressed at what my mom and DH's Mammaw can do now that I've tried my hand at sewing. When I was a little kid, my mom made my sister and I TONS of clothing, usually matching of course. I've always wanted to learn to sew, and I guess I'm getting my chance now. I am in the process of making a pinafore to go over last year's Jane Austen dress. It's almost finished; I have to hem the bottom and around the edges of the neck and shoulders, but that's it! Have I made mistakes? Yep. Did I maybe cry earlier because I was so frustrated? Yep. But such is my dedication to dress up for the Jane Austen festival. Two more days!

About 9 weeks until baby boy gets here. Insanity. We still aren't anywhere near ready in terms of the nursery, but I haven't wanted to buy anything until we are done with baby showers so we'll start making purchases in a couple weeks.

DH gets off early today and will be home about an hour before he normally arrives. Yay! I can honestly say that I love, love, LOVE having him home. I'm cooking some minute steaks for dinner tonight, along with some mashed potatoes, corn casserole, and country-style green beans. Mmm. Making myself hungry just thinking about it. I've never cooked minute steaks before, but I'm a much more adventurous cook than I am in sewing. ;)

I'll post a picture of my Jane Austen getup once it's finished. Wish me luck!

I'm so negligent...

So, I fail at life and haven't updated in forever. Not that much has been going on, but yeah...

I think that I've finally gotten the knack of being a housewife. I don't know what it was, but something just...clicked. For the last couple weeks, my house has been clean. All of it. (Well, my bathroom needs to be swept and mopped, but whatever.) It started with the kitchen. One day, I got it all clean, and just kept it that way. I've been sweeping when it needs swept, vacuuming when it needs it, keeping laundry done, etc etc. It feels really good, to be honest. Part of me is sort of afraid that I'll fall back into my old habits, but I haven't even been tempted so far. I think DH is thrilled to bits to come home to dinner cooked every night, a clean kitchen, laundry done and folded, and a happier wife.

This year's Jane Austen festival is coming up fast, and I'm excited! I'm a little worried about how I'll handle the heat, but there are a couple buildings that I know I can retreat to if I need to hang out in the air conditioning. I decided to see if my dress from last year would still fit, but I expected my belly to be way too big. Surprisingly, the belly wasn't the issue...my boobs were. I ripped out a couple of seams we had done in the bust last year, because it had been too big at the time. It gave me at least another inch of space, and it helped drastically! I'm going to make some other little adjustments, but it'll work. I'm such a nerd...any excuse to dress up in a cool costume, right? :p

We're finally getting a break from the heat around here. I never thought mid-80s would be "cool", but it's fantastic because our AC unit can actually keep up now. For this big ole pregnant girl, that is pure bliss. DH and I haven't been walking at night in a long time because it was still ridiculously hot even when the sun went down, but I need to start doing it again. Especially since I'm totally bad about sticking to my modified gestational diabetes diet...walking will help burn up some of those carbs so that it's not all just sitting there turning to sugar.

In pregnancy news, I'm about 30 weeks along now. Crazy to think that I'm this close to being done. Little boy is still pretty active, but I'm feeling more nudges and rolls now, instead of kicks and punches. I'm up about 20lbs, which feels weird but is totally normal so I'm trying not to be too self-conscious about it. Stretch marks are springing up all over the place, but not in the places that I expected them. I've got some on my love handles but none on my belly yet...I think they all decided to go for my legs and butt instead. It's weird, because I don't FEEL stretched out in those places. Here's my bump picture from Wednesday night.

Don't buy a Ford.

Seriously, just don't do it. I've grown up hearing all the jokes about how crappy Ford is ("Found On Road Dead", "Fix Or Repair Daily", yada yada) but as a Ford Focus owner, I'm starting to believe the hype.

A couple months ago, we had a big, very close thunderstorm. When DH came out of the house in the morning to head to work, he discovered that the back driver's side window had somehow fallen down into the door. The back seat was soaked. Thankfully we were able to tape the window up from the inside and dry the car out really well, but we were planning to head to the mechanic tonight to get it fixed. Last night, as DH rolled up the front driver's side window after picking up the mail, it stopped working about an inch from closing. Ok, weird, but at least we were on our way to get the window looked at. Two instead of one, right? But THEN, DH texted me again this morning that the back passenger window made a "pop" sound this morning and won't roll up, either! What the heck is going on with this thing?!?

After doing some "research" online, I've found that this is apparently a ridiculously common problem with the year and model of our car, but that Ford still refuses to acknowledge the issue and send out a recall notice. (Of course they do. Then they'd have to actually pay to fix their shoddy workmanship.) This rang a bell for me, because that sounds like the same thing we were told by the dealer when we had to get the ignition switch replaced. The key would get stuck in the ignition and wouldn't turn, wouldn't start, wouldn't come out...nothing. We're pouring more money into this car than it's worth.

I think I wouldn't be so frustrated if this was just DH's "drive to work" car. But this was supposed to be MY car for toting around babies in. Our other car is a 2-door VW Beetle, and let's be real, you can't fit a carseat in that thing. (I've tried.) So our plan was that DH would drive the Bug to work, and I would drive the Focus. But I'm starting to feel like the Focus isn't a safe option anymore. What if it dies in the middle of the highway? Can I trust this thing? Moral of the story: if a company has a reputation for being total crap, trust that it got that reputation for a reason.

DH has an interview in Louisville on Tuesday. T&Ps that they offer him the job, and that the pay is significantly better than what he's making now! The pay range is drastic, just depends on the experience level of the person they hire, but if they'd even go up 3 or 4k from what he's making now, it'd still be on the lower end of what they're willing to pay. If they'll offer him at least 3k more, we'll take it.

Baby update: I almost failed my 1-hour GTT. The cut-off was 140, and I scored a 138. Rather than doing the 3-hour test, I'm going to meet with a nutritional counselor and basically just treat it as if I have GD. I'll go on a modified, less strict version of the GD diet just to be on the safe side. I also noticed from looking at my lab report that I'm anemic, but they haven't mentioned it. I guess maybe I'm just so close to the border that they're not concerned? Their cut-off is 11.8, and I was 11.6. Little dude is still head down, and my fundal height measurements are back where they should be. Yay! No more measuring behind! Here's my most recent bump pic. Ignore my crazy hair.

I'll stop procrastinating. Tomorrow.

No, but seriously, I will. Mostly because I have no other choice. We're leaving Saturday for a week in Florida, which means that I HAVE to pack on Friday. I've been piddling around, doing loads of laundry here and there and sort of making sure the things I'll need are clean, but I haven't been as proactive as I should be. (But then again, I never am.) DH asked me to make a list today: the things we need to take to FL, and the things we need to buy to take with us. I hate list making, because I invariably leave something important off the list. My goal is to make it to FL with all the stuff I need, without having to take three or four suitcases. That's going to be quite the challenge for me, because I'm quite the habitual over-packer.

I've been continuing to go to the chiropractor for my sacrum issues. Oddly, I feel like things are sort of stalling out. For a while, it seemed to be getting better, and now it seems to be holding steady. I'm not a fan of this...the chiro is expensive, and if I'm paying that much, I want to see some improvement! I'm wondering if maybe Baby Boy is just growing so quickly at this point that the adjustments can't keep pace with all the ligaments and bones being pushed on. According to my "sources" (hah) Wee Laddie has grown an inch and a half since last week. That's mind blowing to me. But I think I believe it, because I'm starting to feel kicks and jabs much further over on my sides than ever before. I still love feeling him move; it's the best part of every day.

The Glasgow Highland Games were, in a word, awesometastical. I learned a little more about my Scottish heritage. Apparently, my clan (Clan Morrison) is NOT a sept clan, but an actual clan. (Sept clans are basically those who pledged fealty to a larger clan, and are subsequently considered branches of that main clan. Like, my mom's clan, Harper, falls under Buchanan.) I also met a guy who is from Clan Morrison (had the tartan kilt and all!) and it was really cool talking to him. I told DH that he needs to wear a kilt to the games next year, and for some strange reason, he seemed like he wasn't the biggest fan of that idea. ;) The bagpipes were amazing, the clothing was really cool (lots of men in kilts...some of them quite handsome) and let me tell you, haggis is not at all disgusting. It has a pretty distinctive liver taste, so if you really hate liver you wouldn't like it, but I actually enjoyed it a lot. Scotch eggs were also delicious (boiled egg wrapped in sausage and baked). I think I could survive in Scotland eating the local food!

Quick bump update before I drag myself off to go get some housework done. We've reached 25 weeks, and if Wee Laddie was born at this point, he'd have a 50% chance of survival, which is amazing to me! I've dropped a couple pounds somehow, probably from being a lot more active the last few days than I normally am. (Let's be real...I sit on my butt at home and play on the computer a lot. I am not the most active gal.) So that puts me at 139lbs, which means I'm up about 12lbs. Not bad for being more than halfway done! Still no stretchmarks, but I'm still waiting for them to show up. I got stretchmarks during puberty; there's no way I'm going to escape pregnancy without them. But I'll keep lotioning my belly religiously and praying that I get lucky, anyhow.

Here's a picture from last night at 25 weeks on the nose.


What are your weekend plans? Anyone have something fun or exciting going on?

June is going to be a busy month!

I cannot believe it's almost June. Where has this year gone? In one day, I'll be able to say that our baby boy gets here in three months. Craziness.

Like the title of this post states, June is going to be one heck of a jam-packed month for DH and I. Buckle up...here goes the list.

-June 2nd, DH and I are going with my mom, niece, and aunt to a Scottish festival. Being of thoroughly Scottish descent, I am super pumped about this one.

-June 9th, we leave for Florida. We'll spend a couple days at Disney World, and then spend some time with DH's family down there before heading back on the 15th.

-June 13th is DH's and my 3rd anniversary. I have no idea what we'll do to celebrate, but hopefully we'll be able to get away from everyone and celebrate with a nice dinner or something.

-June 21st is my birthday...and also the summer solstice, so that's neat.

-June 26th is my next prenatal visit, and the day that I have to do the dreaded one-hour glucose test. Ack. Hopefully my fundal measurements will be up to par; I was measuring on the "very low end of normal" last time and the doctor seemed mildly concerned.

-June 27th, I will officially hit third trimester! Wow. Wild that it's so incredibly close.

Did I miss anything? It's going to be a whirlwind of activity. Somewhere in there, I'm sure we'll be working on Wee Laddie's room a little more. It's still nowhere near being finished at all. We also still haven't picked a name. I think we've chosen a first name, but middle names are still up in the air and we're not telling anyone the names until we've definitively decided on one. (Which is honestly because we don't want opinions, and we figure the best way to avoid that is to say, "This is his name. Period. We have decided.")

Obligatory bump shot. This was yesterday at 24 weeks...I really love the top I'm wearing. My mom got it for me from Motherhood Maternity.

The long, hot weekend.

It's southern KY in May, which means the humidity and heat are through the roof. Thank goodness for good air conditioning. Despite having grown up in the Mid-south, I have never gotten used to the mugginess. But, I love the South anyhow and I plan to stay here for as long as I can...it ain't perfect, but it's home!

We have lofty plans for the weekend...and I say "lofty" because it'll be kind of crazy if we actually get it all done. We're finally going to get working on Wee Laddie's room! We've partially sanded some drawers from some of his furniture, but absolutely nothing else has been done to get ready for him other than getting a registry partially done. My mom is coming up tomorrow morning and we'll haul some of the furniture outside and sand the heck out of it. (It's BIG furniture with a lot of curves and rounded edges, so it's kind of a pain in the butt to sand.) I wish we could go ahead and paint everything, but I don't want to paint until I have his bedding so that I can get the colors to coordinate. We do have one piece of furniture that we can go ahead and get done - a little end table that I'll paint red and stencil the Rebel symbol from Star Wars on top. I am so excited to just get his room done and ready for him.

Wee Laddie still doesn't have a name. DH and I MAY have one picked out but we're not 100% sure yet. I still just don't feel comfortable telling the world until after he's born...I have this big fear that I'll commit to a name and then look at him and say, "Oh, he doesn't look like a _______." It just seems like such a huge job to pick a name for a new little person who has never existed before. I don't want to get it "wrong".

Bump time! 23 weeks as of Wednesday...only a few more days til viability!

Good news, everyone!

Fifty internet points if you read the title in Professor Farnsworth's voice.

The good news is that, Friday, our genetic counselor finally called. The test results show that baby boy is chromosomally normal! There's technically a 1% chance that the test could be wrong, but based on all the things we know at this point, I feel pretty secure in trusting those results. When I got off the phone with her, I just stood and cried with pure relief and joy. It feels SO good knowing that, no matter what sort of issues may arise someday, we won't be dealing with chromosomal abnormalities that will prevent him from functioning normally.

Baby has been extremely active lately. He's been kicking and punching around so much in the last couple days, which I kind of enjoy. It's awesome having the reassurance that he's ok in there. On Sunday, DH woke me up from my nap and laid his head on my belly. Baby boy kicked him right in the head! It was kind of cute. :)

I'm up about 12 lbs and it's starting to freak me out. I've always struggled with body image issues and it's hard for me to gain weight without panicking. I know that it's what Wee Laddie needs, though, so I'm going to just try to cut back on the sweets and unhealthy snacks so that I know my weight gain is not from being a pig. (I always liked sugar before pregnancy, but oh man. I could go through a tub of ice cream and a six-pack of soda a day if I didn't stop myself.) I also don't want to deal with gestational diabetes. They won't be testing me for that for another four or five weeks, so I need to keep myself in check.

We're sorta kinda starting on his nursery. Sorta. I started sanding down a little side table today that we're going to use in his room. DH had the idea that we should stencil the Rebel symbol on the top since it's a Star Wars room, which is an awesome idea. Love being married to a fellow nerd!

Bump picture from 22 weeks, which was last Wednesday. I'll hit 23 tomorrow, which means I'm about 8 days away from V-day! Yeah!