Sleep training and the crunchy mom

I am definitely what I'd consider a crunchy mom. I co-sleep. I like baby wearing. We use coconut oil instead of lotion. We're planning to do baby-led weaning. Etc, etc. Being a little more on the AP end of things, sleep training was WAY off my radar.

Until now.

Basically, our issue is that I was over-attentive to Rowan during the night. (So sue me...I'm a first-time mom.) He would start squirming around and I'd immediately nurse him back to sleep. I also often rocked him to sleep at night while nursing. This resulted in Rowan being totally convinced that he NEEDS to nurse to go to sleep. I wouldn't mind THAT quite so much, except that now he's also decided that if he wakes even the tiniest bit in the night, he needs to be nursed. A couple nights ago, I decided to keep track of just how many times that was.

-He nursed to sleep at 9:20
-Nursed again at 10:15
-Nursed again three more times in the 11:00 hour
-No waking during the 12:00 hour
-Nursed twice during the 1:00 hour
-Nursed a couple more times each during the 2:00 and 3:00 hours
-Nursed once each during 4:00, 5:00, 6:00
-Nursed once in the 7:00, and we got up around 8:00

Seriously, I was getting better sleep when he was a newborn. He also has suddenly decided that he doesn't like pacifiers (what the heck, kid?!) so only Mommy nursing him will suffice.

Momma don't play that game.

I'm hardcore opposed to CIO, even with babies who are "old enough", because anything that makes me feel sick like that and makes me ignore my screaming, sobbing child just is not a good thing in my book. So I looked for something that involved sleep training and was compatible with my crunchy mom ideals. Enter "The No-Cry Sleep Solution". Ahh, a plan. Hallelujah. It has great information about how to slowly, gently sleep train your child without making them cry it out. Just what we needed. She does say that it may take a few weeks to change things, but to be consistent and patient and you'll get there.

I can already see a difference in Rowan two days in. It's awesome! We're being better about starting his bedtime EARLY instead of just letting him go to sleep whenever. (Bad habit of mine...I just always would put him to bed when I was ready to go to sleep myself.) We're instituting a bedtime routine to help wind him down at night. He slept from 7:30 last night until 11:00 in his own room, and then I brought him into bed with me. (I'm not totally ready to give up co-sleeping just yet...I love waking up to his coos and smiles in the morning.) We're still working on the using-Mommy-as-a-paci bit, but we're getting there. Slowly but surely. If you're an AP or AP-ish mommy and you're having sleep issues with your kiddo, I highly recommend the book. For now, at least. If we haven't gotten anywhere in a couple months, I may take it back. Hah.

I'm so much less cranky when I've had some sleep!

EDIT: I realize this post seems in direct contrast to the last one. I should clarify...that putting him down to sleep on his own? That only works when he'll take a paci. And since he's decided they're teh debbil, that ended pretty quickly.

The beginning of the end? Eh...maybe.

Since Rowan was born, I have rocked him to sleep. For naps, for bedtime...he was always in my arms. And often, he was in my arms, screaming and arching and fighting me with all the will and strength he had in his little body. Bedtime was especially disastrous. We often would start the process before 9:00 and not have a sleeping baby until 11:00 or later. I figured he was just one of those kids who didn't like going to sleep.

Yesterday was a high energy day and when it came time for him to nap around 5:30, I just didn't have the energy to rock him. So I swaddled him, put him down in his crib, turned on the sound machine, and walked out. And you know what? He went to sleep on his own.
Color me shocked...I had never seen him fall asleep on his own before that. I told DH about the success and when it came time for the next nap, he suggested we try it again. And it worked again. When bedtime came, we did it all over again, and again it worked. (Although, at bedtime, he did take a long time to fall asleep...but without fighting, without screaming. He slept in his crib from 10:30 until midnight, and when he woke up I brought him into bed with me and nursed him back to sleep.

Honestly, a big part of me is really sad. What happened to little babies needing their mommies? What happened to getting the memories of sweetly rocking my ever-growing child every night? It was really odd going to bed last night without his little warm body snuggled up against me. And like the title of this post indicates, I feel like this is the beginning of the end of my cosleeping adventures with my sweet baby boy. He's suddenly rolling, trying to crawl (!?!?), and putting himself to sleep. (Actually, he's asleep right now, and that's why I finally have time to write.) I'm oddly proud, but also feeling wistful for his newborn days when he'd curl up on my chest and zonk out without hesitation. And ok, part of me is kicking myself for not realizing sooner that I could just put him down to get him to sleep...do you know how many hours I've struggled with him in the evening, and both of us ended up in tears?!? Sheesh.

Maybe when he's a little bigger, he'll go back to wanting his Momma to snuggle him. Maybe this is just a phase tied to his new-found mobility. I dunno. Regardless, I'm still having a ton of fun being his mom and this is just another reminder to soak it all up and enjoy every minute because it is absolutely flying.

Can it be September, please?

For so, so many reasons, I want it to just be September. I want to meet our little boy, mostly, but I also am really ready to sleep again. And be comfortable again. I'm updating at 5:50 in the morning, and I've been up for well over an hour, not including the intermittent waking through the night for various reasons. It's so frustrating because the one thing I feel like I NEED right now is sleep, and I can't even get 5 hours in without waking up in severe pain. I'm tempted to start taking the Unisom I have left from first trimester to see if it can help me sleep through some of it, but anything with a sleep aid knocks me out something fierce. I'm honestly afraid I'd pee myself or something because I was too drugged to realize I needed to get up and go to the bathroom. Pregnancy is SO glamorous.

My first baby shower is in four days and for some reason, I feel nervous about it. I have no idea why. I think part of it is that I don't really like being the center of attention, so having everyone sit and watch me open gifts makes me feel a little self-conscious. But, on the upside, a huge amount of DH's family will be there and we don't get to see them all that often, so that'll be cool. (On the downside, DH and all the guys are going to go see "The Dark Knight Rises" in IMAX and I am wicked jealous.) I also am kind of afraid I'll cry a ridiculous amount during the shower. I'm already incredibly sleep deprived and emotional, and cute tiny baby things just mess me up. At least I have an excuse, right?

I am literally thanking God that the weather has cooled off some. Days in the low-to-mid-90s are so much nicer than 110 degree days. Our A/C unit was really working overtime there for a while, and I think it's able to keep up much better now. We've even had a couple days where the high was 81 degrees, and it was fantastic. Now if the humidity would die down, we'd be good to go. Again...I'm ready for fall. Pumpkins and boots and cardigans and cool weather and colors everywhere...it's definitely my favorite season ever!