My teeth are still there, right?

I know a lot of people who have recurrent dreams. Your waking life tends to follow a pattern, and your dreams do the same. But oh my goodness, I'm about ready to get rid of this recurrent dream of mine. It leaves me feeling so panicked and stressed.

Last night, I dreamed (for the millionth time) that my teeth were falling out. In these dreams, it's only one or two teeth, usually my lower canines. I'll realize that they're extremely loose, and then get super anxious as I wait for them to fall out. Once they're out, my dream-self usually begs my husband to take me to the dentist so that something can be done, but he seems unconcerned and says not to worry about it. I wake up afraid that my teeth will really be gone, and I'm incredibly relieved when I realize it was just a dream.

I did some looking online about dream interpretation, and the common consensus is that dreams about your teeth falling out mean that you feel helpless, frustrated, or embarrassed about something IRL. (Gee, helpless? Me? No clue what that could be related to...) I guess maybe my frustrations about TTGP are following me into sleep, which sucks. Sleep is supposed to be my "me" time, when I get away from all the daily junk and just relax. Maybe I was extra stressed yesterday. I really thought I had O'ed, based on CM, +OPK, and intense ovulation pain. But my temps didn't rise this morning, and my OPK today was negative. It looks like I had the surge, but no O. I am so disappointed I could literally just sit and cry. I was hoping to O before CD20, and it looks like that's not going to happen.

I have work tonight and Tuesday night, and then I'm home free (metaphorically and literally) the rest of the week. Yay! I've got some crocheting to do, as well as some card-making. And I should probably do some housekeeping, too, since my floor needs mopping and I need to vacuum the cat hair off the couch. Fun stuff.

What's your most recurrent dream?

I just couldn't wait!

I put up my Christmas tree on Sunday night. I just couldn't wait anymore. This is the first year that I've really felt we would be able to decorate properly for Christmas, and I am going all-out. I need to find a tree skirt because it looks silly without one, and I want to get some stockings. I'll try to talk DH into letting me get lights to put in the front window, too. (I couldn've sworn we already had some, because the dinky tree we put up last year wasn't pre-lit, but I can't find them anywhere!) I had told myself that I would wait until after Thanksgiving to put up the tree, but at least I waited until the week of Thanksgiving, right?

That's my tree, in all it's late-night glory. I LOVE my star...it's glittery during the day and all warm and glowy in the dark. (And it was only 7 bucks.)

I'm feeling some serious Thanksgiving anxiety. I'm going to be in a house with 20 people, several of which I've never met before. They're the relatives of my SIL-to-be, and I'm not exactly her biggest fan, so I get the feeling I won't like her family much more, either. She and her sisters are all tall, very thin, and model-like, so I am feeling a LOT of (self-imposed) pressure to look as good as I'm humanly capable of looking. I'm already agonizing over how I'm going to do my hair and makeup, and what I'm going to wear. I liked it better when I was the only girl in the family; everyone thought I was pretty and wonderful. And now there's someone prettier and more interesting than me, and I feel like I'm off in the corner somewhere going, "I'm interesting too, guys. Hey. Hey guys? I'm over here."

Thinking of Finley a lot today. We would've been announcing the gender to the family at Thanksgiving. I woudl've known by now whether or not we were having a boy or a girl. Miscarriage is such a sucky thing...the pain of it never goes away. I'm really hoping this cycle is "the one"...the closer I get to a 2013 due date, the more depressed I am.

Oh well. I probably won't update again until after Turkey day, so, Happy Thanksgiving! Hope it's a wonderful one!

I haven't updated in forevah.

Things aren't very eventful here. Life rolls on without much excitement, which I'm actually pretty thankful for. I'd rather things be fairly drama free.

Last Friday, we went out with some friends to the Cheesecake Factory in Nashville. It's been forever since we went out, and even longer since we hung out with other adults. We had a lot of fun, and ate WAY too much cheesecake.

DH is taking this Friday off as a sort of "mental health" day. Sometimes you just need a break, ya know? Being the incredible husband that he is, he got us tickets to go see Breaking Dawn: Pt. 1. Yes, I like Twilight. No, I am not ashamed. We'll go see that fairly early in the morning. Hopefully that'll mean there are less teenage girls there, screaming every time someone takes their shirt off, although there will probably be a lot who skip school to go. Oh well. It'll still be fun for me!

Thanksgiving is approaching fast, and I'm a little apprehensive about this year. DH's family invited my mom and aunt to come spend the day with us, which is really cool. But then, after my mom and aunt accepted, I was informed that SIL-to-be and family would all be there, as well. I can haz sad nao? So I'm kind of dreading Thanksgiving now. Not only do I have to spend it with some people that I REALLY dislike, I also am going to be super self-conscious about how much I eat because they're all twigs who are super weight and health conscious. Way to ruin a good day.

I am scheduled to work on Black Friday, so that'll be interesting. I can't imagine that we're really going to have much business, because I mean, come on. It's a drug store. It's not like we're people's number one shopping destination. But they've got four of us scheduled, so whatever. The really awesome part is that I'm not working night shift for once, which makes me really happy. I think I'm scheduled to get off at 2pm, so I actually get to spend a decent amount of time at home. And I fully plan to put up our Christmas tree and start decorating that day, so I'll actually have time to get it done. Woot!

I need to go get ready for work. It's rainy and dreary here, so my hair will be in it's natural curl today to avoid the megafrizz.

Hey there, November.

I cannot BELIEVE it's already November. This year has flown by so fast it makes my head spin. It has been a busy, hectic year, and it's not over yet. Thanksgiving and Christmas are "family" holidays, which means we'll be spending them with DH's ginormous family. Which means more hectic times. I really do love his family, don't get me wrong, but I grew up with just me and my sister, and my mom. I am not used to being in a house with 20 people with everyone talking all at once.

I'm in the LP of another cycle trying for our take-home baby. I feel a lot more relaxed for some reason. I think it's resignation. I know that there's nothing I can do to make this happen, I just have to wait and trust God that He'll give us this blessing when He believes the time is right. I know our timing was good this time and the temps look good, but deep down I just don't think this is it. We started trying in February of this year, and knowing that we're getting so close to February 2012 makes me feel incredibly sad. It also sucks that medically, I'm only on cycle 2, no matter how long we tried before Finley. It makes me feel like all those cycles didn't count, and that we were just wasting our time. Bummer.

On another note, my Mom is leaving for Paris today with my Aunt. Mom's been to Paris before when she came to visit us, but Auntie has never left the country in her life. They're going as a celebration of Auntie's 50th 39th (ahem) birthday. It makes me so nervous! When Mom came over the first time, she was with us. We knew the culture, we spoke the language much better than she did, and we showed her the ropes. It makes me anxious to think of my mom and aunt alone over there, just winging it. Ack. Prayers for their safety would be much appreciated! I know they'll have a great time.

Me and my mommeh! At the top of Notre Dame.