Tah-dah! New layout!

I tweaked my blog layout a little. I was getting bored with it. I want your opinions!

Do you think the blog is too busy? Just right? Is it hard to read with the white text on the transparent/black background? I really wish Blogger would let me tweak the opacity of the text ground, but I couldn't find any options for that. Give me the pros and cons; be brutally honest. (It's not like I have many followers, but I don't want to scare off the few I have by using a terrible layout.)

Oh, the background picture? That was a building in the town we lived in in France. I liked the picture, so I used it. :)

And also...happy December. I can't believe this year is almost over.

Hey there, November.

I cannot BELIEVE it's already November. This year has flown by so fast it makes my head spin. It has been a busy, hectic year, and it's not over yet. Thanksgiving and Christmas are "family" holidays, which means we'll be spending them with DH's ginormous family. Which means more hectic times. I really do love his family, don't get me wrong, but I grew up with just me and my sister, and my mom. I am not used to being in a house with 20 people with everyone talking all at once.

I'm in the LP of another cycle trying for our take-home baby. I feel a lot more relaxed for some reason. I think it's resignation. I know that there's nothing I can do to make this happen, I just have to wait and trust God that He'll give us this blessing when He believes the time is right. I know our timing was good this time and the temps look good, but deep down I just don't think this is it. We started trying in February of this year, and knowing that we're getting so close to February 2012 makes me feel incredibly sad. It also sucks that medically, I'm only on cycle 2, no matter how long we tried before Finley. It makes me feel like all those cycles didn't count, and that we were just wasting our time. Bummer.

On another note, my Mom is leaving for Paris today with my Aunt. Mom's been to Paris before when she came to visit us, but Auntie has never left the country in her life. They're going as a celebration of Auntie's 50th 39th (ahem) birthday. It makes me so nervous! When Mom came over the first time, she was with us. We knew the culture, we spoke the language much better than she did, and we showed her the ropes. It makes me anxious to think of my mom and aunt alone over there, just winging it. Ack. Prayers for their safety would be much appreciated! I know they'll have a great time.

Me and my mommeh! At the top of Notre Dame.

And so begins the process.

My mind is still having a hard time wrapping around the fact that I'm pregnant. It just doesn't feel real at all. (Except for the nausea I'm experiencing at the moment. That feels quite real, indeed.) On the whole, I'm not really having any "for real" symptoms yet. I get queasy after I eat, and if I get hungry, but there's definitely no "morning sickness" yet. "Yet" being the operative word. I have little twinges of cramps sporadically, but they're not as frequent anymore and they don't feel the same. These have started feeling more like stretching. Is this my imagination? Isn't it too early for my uterus to be stretching? According to my caluculations, I'm 4 weeks and 4 days along. The little guy or girl is now the size of an apple seed, supposedly. (Deep down, I am totally convinced that it's a girl. But we'll see! I'm completely happy with either.)

So far, we've told my mom and aunt, my best friend Charlotte via Skype, (she's in France) and we'll tell DH's parents this weekend. I'm honestly really nervous about that. It's not that I think his mom will freak out or be really unhappy, but I really don't have a good idea about how they'll react, at least to our faces. There's also no good way to tell them. If we ask to speak to them privately, they'll probably automatically suspect. I think his dad will be thrilled to bits, and I think his mom will stress herself sick about it. Oh, and we also told our preacher and his wife. It never hurts to have extra prayers for the health and safety of the baby and myself, and we really like them anyhow. They were both really excited for us and I think they're looking forward to having more babies at church.

Did I mention that I still just can't believe that this is finally happening? The verse that keeps going through my head is 1 Samuel 1:27 - "For this child I prayed, and the Lord granted me my petition which I asked of Him." Before I found out that we were going to be parents, I prayed so hard that God would bless us with a baby. Now that I'm pregnant, I haven't stopped praying that this baby will be strong and healthy, and that it will stay put. The last few days have been the happiest ever. I'm looking forward to the next 9 months.

Viewing the past through rose colored glasses

For some reason today, I'm thinking about our time overseas. A year ago at this time, we were living in St. Etienne, France, far away from family and comfort. At the time, we hated it. Absolutely hated it. I cried so many times, wanting to just come home. People told us so many times that we'd look back and have fond memories, and I honestly wanted to throat punch them every time they said it. But I'm kind of starting to feel that now. I can look back and see how much of a blessing our time there was. We grew so close to each other. We learned to rely on ourselves and be a cohesive unit, instead of our parents doing everything for us. I think I truly became an adult in France.

I think the thing I miss the most is my cher amie, Charlotte. I don't think I've ever bonded so instantly with anyone else. (Except DH.) We were so close with her that we decided we would name our first daughter after her, and we've never wavered on that decision. She is my dearest friend, and one of the most incredible people I've ever met. She recently participated in a challenge called 3 Peaks-3 Weeks. 11 women from around the world joined together and climbed the three highest mountains in Africa to raise money for three different causes: education, poverty, and AIDS awareness. Charlotte also lived in Tanzania for three years, working for a school called St. Jude's. They provide education for children living in abject poverty, and Charlotte loved it. She speaks Kiswahili, English, and French fluently, and has some German under her belt as well. (Can you tell that I absolutely adore her?) I'll end this with a picture of my favorite friend. Tu me manques, mon amie. Bisous.