It's amazing to me how many things I'm "afraid" of in life. I'm afraid of the store I work in getting robbed. I'm afraid of having a car accident. I'm afraid of losing my husband or my mom. But, I never thought that "being pregnant" would be on my list of fears.
This cycle has been really emotional for me. My body recovered from the m/c really fast. I miscarried on a Saturday, and the bleeding was done by Thursday. I ovulated on my usual CD23, and now I'm in the 2WW. And honestly, I'm kind of scared. I am so afraid to be pregnant again because I'm terrified to lose another baby. But at the same time, I'm afraid to not be pregnant because I'm afraid it'll take us another 6 months to conceive. I know that the thing that matters the most is a healthy baby, and I would wait a long time for that, but that doesn't mean it'd be fun to wait.
I've been analyzing every little twitch, twinge, ache, and cramp. A lot of it is very similar to last cycle, which makes me nervous and excited at the same time. Part of me wants to test right now, but the anxious part of me doesn't want to test at all for fear of seeing the results. I'm at 10dpo and I'm telling myself that I won't test until at least 13dpo, so add three days to the waiting game. I guess I need to do a full-house deep clean and keep myself distracted. To quote a song from the band Mae: "To tell you the truth, I'm always waiting."
September 27, 2011
September 22, 2011
I should probably be more surprised by this.
Today, Jesse took the day off work and we had a great day together. We went to the dentist this morning for a cleaning, and we both got a perfect score. :) No cavities for either of us, thus maintaining our records of dental soundness. (Neither of us have ever had a cavity.) I was told by a dentist long ago that my saliva causes tartar to calcify quickly on my teeth, which in turn is actually protecting my teeth a little bit from acid erosion and whatnot. Whoda thunk? :)
We followed the dentist with a trip to the ophtamologist for me. I haven't had my eyes checked since my freshman year of college, which was 2007. Yes, I am ashamed. While the opthamologist was checking my eyes, I asked him what my vision was in terms of 20/20 and whatnot. So he checked it. My left eye is 20/80. I thought, "Eeesh, that's pretty bad!" My right eye? 20/400.
I am legally blind in my right eye.
Is it weird that my reaction was to laugh my butt off? For some reason I just find it so funny. (Hysterics? Who knows.) Thank goodness that we live in a time where contacts and glasses are trendy, easy to come by, and relatively affordable. I couldn't decide on a set of frames so I'm going to go back next week for a follow-up and decide then. They had such awesome options, and I really liked a few different styles. I need to bring a friend and have them analyze me in each pair, because Jesse is not much help, bless him. He thinks I look good in all of them.
The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. Got home, made some good dinner. Pork chops with Cavender's Greek Seasoning on them, mashed potatoes, and I cooked myself some mixed veggies in the skillet that I did the pork chops in. (Don't judge me. The oils made them taste amazing.) After that, we went to the church building to help paint the classrooms. I may have gotten in a small paint fight with the preacher's brother. I intentionally got some on his shirt with a brush. He later snuck up behind me and smacked my rear with a paint-sodden stir stick. Yep, I was wearing black pants. Yep, it was white paint. I gave him a hard time about it, but I had already gotten paint on them and wore them with the knowledge that I would get more on there somehow. All in good fun, and we made good progress. :) It was a good day.
We followed the dentist with a trip to the ophtamologist for me. I haven't had my eyes checked since my freshman year of college, which was 2007. Yes, I am ashamed. While the opthamologist was checking my eyes, I asked him what my vision was in terms of 20/20 and whatnot. So he checked it. My left eye is 20/80. I thought, "Eeesh, that's pretty bad!" My right eye? 20/400.
I am legally blind in my right eye.
Is it weird that my reaction was to laugh my butt off? For some reason I just find it so funny. (Hysterics? Who knows.) Thank goodness that we live in a time where contacts and glasses are trendy, easy to come by, and relatively affordable. I couldn't decide on a set of frames so I'm going to go back next week for a follow-up and decide then. They had such awesome options, and I really liked a few different styles. I need to bring a friend and have them analyze me in each pair, because Jesse is not much help, bless him. He thinks I look good in all of them.
The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. Got home, made some good dinner. Pork chops with Cavender's Greek Seasoning on them, mashed potatoes, and I cooked myself some mixed veggies in the skillet that I did the pork chops in. (Don't judge me. The oils made them taste amazing.) After that, we went to the church building to help paint the classrooms. I may have gotten in a small paint fight with the preacher's brother. I intentionally got some on his shirt with a brush. He later snuck up behind me and smacked my rear with a paint-sodden stir stick. Yep, I was wearing black pants. Yep, it was white paint. I gave him a hard time about it, but I had already gotten paint on them and wore them with the knowledge that I would get more on there somehow. All in good fun, and we made good progress. :) It was a good day.
September 19, 2011
Musical Monday :)
I used to date this creepy little guy back in the day. There were very few good things that came out of that relationship...except that he introduced me to this band. I've seen them live twice, and they were unbelievable. Sadly, they're breaking up and going their separate ways, which makes me incredibly sad. But I've still got their music so we're good! (At the last concert, I was up against the stage, and the guitarist gave me his pick at the end of the show. Awesome!)
Folks, meet Mae.
*Please note: This is an old video. The band members have way better hair. (Especially the lead singer Dave.)
Folks, meet Mae.
*Please note: This is an old video. The band members have way better hair. (Especially the lead singer Dave.)
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