The crud that people will say online never ceases to amaze me. And infuriate me. So this post is going to be a vent...if you don't want to hear my griping, feel free to look away now. ;)
I started a thread on TB asking for advice on how to deal with my cats. They've been acting insane lately (read my previous posts for examples) and it has escalated to peeing outside the litter box when we weren't home. I don't want to get rid of the cats because I truly think they're supposed to be a commitment, but at the same time, I'm at my wit's end with their behavior.
Someone mentioned that I should take them to the vet to make sure they don't have a UTI, and I responded that due to some financial struggles at the moment, I can't afford a vet visit. HUGE MISTAKE, apparently. A handful (not all) of the posters started saying how they feel bad for my cats, since apparently I'm a terrible person who is irresponsible and was ill-prepared for taking care of animals.
Ok, here's my question. How was I supposed to predict our lack of funds? Am I supposed to be able to see the future and know how our finances are going to pan out at every turn? Am I supposed to know that DH will get passed up for promotions, that our cars will start breaking down suddenly, that my medical bills will be crazy, that we'll need to pay for testing to see if our unborn child has chromosomal defects? Apparently, the answer is "yes". One of the women actually went so far as to call me a "b*tch" and ask how I plan to support my baby if I don't have the money or patience to deal with my cats peeing on the carpet.
Are you stinking kidding me? This just makes me so irritated. How dare you imply that I'm a bad mother because I'm having a baby without being affluent. That doesn't mean our son won't have what he needs. Not everyone is blessed with being upper middle class. I'd say that, honestly, we're probably lower middle class. We waited until we had health insurance to try for a baby. He'll have what he needs to be happy and healthy. And you know what? Poor people can still be great parents. My mom was so desperately poor when I was a kid that we were on food stamps and relied on free healthcare for a while. And she was STILL an awesome mom. All of my clothes were second-hand, but I was provided for and I was a happy kid.
I hate arrogance. I'm not a perfect person. I don't have the perfect life. I don't have the perfect finances or the perfect home or the perfect situation. But don't you dare say that I'm irresponsible for having a child at a less-than-perfect time in my life. You do things your way, I'll do them mine. And honestly? If we waited for the perfect moment, we would have never become parents. Because there's no such thing as perfect.
End rant.
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I posted in that thread :) I got rid of my cat that was peeing everywhere (I took her to the vet and they didnt see anything medically wrong with her) and we tried several "tricks" nothing worked. I wasnt going to keep a cat that was literally ruining our home with cat pee.
ReplyDeleteI also think comparing a pet to a child is crazy. That being said you gotta do what you gotta do and hopefully you will be able to find a solution that works and keep them.
A lot of those girls are judgy and like to sit on their high horse dont let them upset you :)
Thanks Kori. :) I think the thing that upsets me is the cat/child comparison. I'm sorry, but a cat is not a child. Just because I've considered getting rid of the cats doesn't mean that I won't have enough patience or love to deal with my son. I will never, never advocate animal cruelty or abuse, but a cat is not a person, and it doesn't make me a bad person not to treat them like one.
ReplyDeleteI 100% agree with you!! I am not an animal hater but I do not treat them the same as a human because well...they are an animal. My family and home come first!! You will be a great mom and kudos for keeping your ground!
DeleteI'm sorry sweetie. If there's anything that I've learned from my years on the Bump it's that people can be assholes, and it's best to just ignore them. I know it's easier said than done, and I don't always do a good job of that myself. You are going to be a great Mom <3
ReplyDeletepeople are stupid. and i've had my own share of flaming flamers since getting on TB. you are going to be a great mom, regardless. we are in the same boat as you, paycheck to paycheck sometimes.
ReplyDeletebut you are NOT going to be a bad mom. seriously. you obviously give a crap, and you obviously want the best for your baby, no matter what.
<3
Hey love.. I was a little late to the party, but I finally made my grand entrance as per usual. LOL. It's been a long while since I've read something that bothered me so much - and what made it worse, is that there was so much ignorance directed at you.
ReplyDeleteI'm definitely with Melissa on this one... you are going to be one hell of a Mom <3
I read your post and just added some suggestions to it. I'm sorry you are going through this, with the cats and the negative responses. I said in my post that you could have been writing my story. I have been through all the things you described with my cats, and I'm happy to say, have come out on a positive note with two generally happy and well behaved (most days) cats. I hope you find some solutions that work for you, no matter what they end up being. Good luck!
ReplyDeletePeople online can be awful - I've learned this too. We also have the same trouble with finances right now when it comes to our cat, and although I love her dearly, her health is not worth sacrificing the amount of food my child has to eat!
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, if these people are so passionate about the health of your cat, maybe you could ask THEM to help you pay for it - you might find they don't actually care about your cats that much :) (Not so veiled cynicism).