Hey there, sweet pea.

Here we are, at 6w2d! Baby is now the size of a sweet pea, which sounds way cuter than a poppy seed or apple seed. I'm really learning a lesson in patience right now, because it's kind of hitting me that everything about this baby is going to be a waiting game. I'm waiting until 12 weeks to get the first ultrasound done, and that feels like forever. I decided to skip the early ultrasound for the sake of saving money, since we're paying a lot out of pocket. (The midwife is costing us a little more than we anticipated, but we feel like it's really a good exchange.) But it makes me want to pull my hair out, knowing that I have to wait six more weeks to see my sweet little baby. My midwife's assistant called me back yesterday to see if I want to do the initial visit earlier than the ultrasound visit, just so I feel like I'm doing something. I'm thinking...yes.

I'm still blessed to not be dealing with morning sickness. I have been slightly more queasy the last couple days, but no throwing up or dry heaving. I do think my sense of smell is heightened, because I swear I can smell my cats poop in another room. Gag. I've had a couple people come through the line at work, and I had to hold my breath to keep from breathing in their stank. The boobs are still pretty sore, and DH really thinks they're looking bigger. (For this flat-chested gal, this is momentous. I've waited my whole life for pregnancy boobs.) I'm already thinking about investing in a bra with no underwire, because it's starting to really be painful. (Just on a side note, I'm sitting here getting pretty nauseous, right after I wrote about how I didn't have nausea.)

I need a new sci-fi book series to read. I prefer stuff that isn't raunchy and ridiculous, so it limits my options. The last series I read was the Abhorsen trilogy, and I absolutely loved it. I used to read all the time, and I have slacked off drastically in my adulthood. What a shame.

Ants in my pants

Tomorrow is our first midwife appointment and I'm so excited I can barely sit still. I have no idea why I'm so pumped...we're not going to see the heartbeat or do an ultrasound or anything. I think it's just that, in my mind, if I'm seeing a medical professional about my pregnancy, it must be real! (As if the massive aching boob pain didn't clue me in. And also the 5 positive pregnancy tests.) I think DH is excited, too, because he has already told his entire office and a few random strangers. We're taking my niece's old crib instead of shelling out for a new one, and DH wants to go ahead and bring it back to our place this weekend. That one really surprised me...I expected him, with all his careful planning, to wait to wait a while for things like that. I think both of us are just a little on the giddy side right now.

I took our oldest fur child, Pippa, to the vet today. (Well, the vet at the Humane Society where we got her.) She's been kind of congested since the day we brought her home, and it just never cleared up. They told us that it was just the last little bit of an upper respiratory infection she had, and that it would go away on its own. She sounded so pathetic the last couple days that I felt like I needed to do something. So, for $6.75, they gave me three different meds to try and clear everything up. Excellent price? Why yes, yes it was. It'll be fun trying to squirt meds down her throat with the syringe, but if it makes her stop sneezing snot marks all over the wall, it'll be worth the effort.

I need to make dinner plans for tonight. I have frozen chicken, brown rice, and an avocado. Think I can make something interesting out of that? Hah. I think that takes more cooking talent than I possess, but we'll figure something out.

The apple seed has graduated!

From blastocyst to embryo, that is. I'm 5 weeks, 1 day today, and the bloat is sorta kinda starting to recede-ish. At night, it's still fairly prominent, but it's less obvious during the day. Part of me enjoys the bloat, just because it's a result of being pregnant. I don't know that an hour passes without me thinking "Wow, this is really happening." I pray so often that this baby is healthy and that it stays put, and I'm thankful for every day that passes without incident. I don't want to rush through any part of this pregnancy, except maybe this week. Our first appointment with our midwife is Saturday, and I'm so antsy and excited that I feel like a kid on Christmas eve. She'll probably check my betas and we'll discuss all sorts of baby-related things.

DH's family reunion was this past weekend, and as usual, it was a loud, chaotic, crowded event. His family is huge. We decided that we would tell his parents that we were expecting, and their reactions were great. But then came the pressure from my MIL to tell everyone. I felt like I was being told, "Either you tell, or I will." I hated that feeling. This is my news, and I should be able to tell it on my terms. So I agreed to tell DH's immediate family, including aunts and uncles. That was already so much more than I had planned. The next day, DH's mom asked me if she could tell her cousin, and I flat out told her no. Absoutely not. This is MY news, regardless of how excited she might be about it, and it's up to me to tell people when I want, and how I want. I'm thinking the next time we have a baby, I'll be waiting quite a bit longer to tell DH's parents. I do not need any extra drama in my life, thanks very much.

I work from 3 to 9 tonight. Urgh. I just have to keep reminding myself, "This money is going to help pay off loans and save up for the baby." It's the only thing that makes it worth going. The job itself isn't bad or hard, it's just difficult to stay on my feet for so long. Sometimes the nausea hits while I'm working and it's really difficult not to just lay in the floor behind the register and cry. But I'm blessed that I don't have true morning/day sickness, so I'll suck it up and try to power through it. It's about time to go get showered and looking human, so I'll end this for now.