Secretly significant Mother's Day

Here's one of those posts where I hope my MIL doesn't know about this blog somehow, because I'll get lots of questions and some serious negativity if she does.

Today was Mother's Day. For the majority of the day, I held it together. I don't think any of DH's family had any idea that this was a little difficult for me. DH and I debated telling his parents that we've been TTC, but we ultimately came to the conclusion that we'll wait until we know if this cycle was successful. If AF shows, we'll tell them. If she doesn't, we'll wait a little longer and then break the news of our BFP. But I digress. Like I said, I held it together most of the day without any real issues. We headed home in the afternoon, and went to evening services. Again, I was fine until the closing prayer. The guy who lead it said something to the effect of "please be with the women who are desiring to be great mothers someday." I instantly got weepy, and had a hard time stemming the flow. It's so hard to bear this burden silently, and my heart goes out to the women who have shouldered the load for so much longer than me. Thus far, we've had three cycles, and there are no known fertility issues. I definitely wouldn't say that I'm discouraged with our TTC process yet, but I do think I'm just as disappointed by BFNs as the next woman. I've made the decision that I probably won't test this cycle. Timing wasn't the best, and my temps aren't that impressive, so I don't want the disappointment of seeing that stark white negative. I'm noticing a strange lack of phantom symptoms this cycle, other than some mild, persistent cramping low in my abdomen. And even then, it's hard not to read into it.

To the moms out there, Happy Mother's day. To the women waiting to be moms, God bless. Also...to my darling Salt...congratulations on your BFP! I'm beyond happy for you and I'm praying that this is your sticky, healthy baby. Love you!