To tell you the truth, I'm always waiting.

You know, in general, I think I'm a happy person. I can be a little bit of a pessimist, but overall, I tend to be in a good mood most of the time. I feel geniune excitement when someone I care about experiences joy, and overall, I'm extremely content with my life.

But today, I'm struggling a little.

There is still such a long wait until I O. As of today, I'm on CD11. That means I have at least 11 days until I O, unless it happens early for some reason. It feels like the last three months have been excruciatingly slow while we've been in the TTC process. I wait to O, and then I have the 2WW. And then when tests are negative and AF shows up, I wait some more. I'm just praying that this cycle is "the one". I don't know how the women who try for extended periods of time stay so strong. Maybe it's because I'm an emotional person by nature, or maybe I'm just extra hormonal today, but I just don't want to wait much longer for our take-home baby.

Ok, enough whining. I'll throw in some good news so I don't seem like a negative Nancy. DH and I have been a little stressed about our lease running out on June 30th, and whether or not we'd be able to find a place. We had been thinking about moving to the next town over, but weren't sure if we would have much luck finding a place quickly enough. Well, yesterday, we found the perfect place. They've already approved us, and we got to go tour one of their places. It's a duplex, and it seems HUGE. (I'm comparing it to our apartment, but it still seems quite a nice size.) High ceilings, lots of nice windows, washer/dryer hookup, great storage, and cheaper rent than our apartment right now. And the best part? They'll let us PAINT. Yeah, that seems small, but I hated the idea of having a nursery and not getting to customize it at all in terms of color. They'll let us plant flowers outside if we want, we can have pets with no extra charge on rent or special deposit, and they take care of the lawn. Praying so hard that we'll get this place!

DH and I have been to the gym the last couple nights. It hurts, but I love it. I think I've finally gotten to the point that I'm truly sick of being heavier than I want, and yoga has helped me get the motivation to take better care of myself. I will always love food, but I'm learning to balance a little better. (And thanks to the urging of my dearest NotGabber, I've been really working on drinking more water. Fingers crossed that it helps!)